Sunday, January 31, 2010

My Daughter's Moving Out Today

I know I've prepared myself for the stages in a life where things move forward to a new state of normal, but when the actual day dawns, as it did today with slashes of orange and pink staining the horizon lending an eerie glow to the low-lying clouds above it, I realize that one can never really prepare oneself. I look out the back window, off to the west, and see the full moon shining brightly and wonder if I can pretend that the sky off to the east isn't getting brighter by the moment, proving that one can stop the passage of time and events that are destined to take place.

My darling daughter is moving out today. She's been telling me how excited she is for three months. This wasn't a spur of the moment, last-minute decision, as I suspect the month spent in Brooklyn may have been, but a well-planned, carefully thought out informed decision.
Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't want our daughter to go, I'm all for her experiencing the joys, trials and tribulations that come with taking that big step, but I'm seeing flashes of her as a child in different stages of the last 23 years.

A blonde little pixie dancing through the house, teasing her brothers, expertly evading her turn to help get dinner ready. I blink and she's running through the back yard kicking a soccer ball or stopping to pick her favorite flowers from our gardens...the ones I ask her not to. Then I turn around and she's gliding down the front steps on her way to the senior prom.

Then there were the emotional highs and lows that accompanied countless weekends loading up her Irish Step Dance costume, and all of the paraphernalia necessary to compete in a Feis (dance competition), for nearly 13 years of weekends that have me longing for one more.

But above all things, I want our children to be happy. Our boys (one younger and one older) have already been away at school and are in different stages of saving to move out...one looking for a home with a really big garage that will house his two motorcycles and two cars...and the other trying to decide how much longer he'll be in NJ...but Jess went to community college and never really moved out before. So this is really big for her...and for me.

Good Lord I sound like one of those mothers that cling. Something I don't want to do. So I'll take my daughter's advice and suck it up and put on my big-girl panties and deal.

I'm so proud of the woman she's become and the plans she has for her future. Now I'll be surrounded by men...five o'clock shadows over breakfast and the healthy food in the fridge getting squeezed out by their favorite brands of beer....three men...three brands.

Life...it's by turns hard, wonderful, easy, disastrous...but it isn't for the faint of heart, and I wouldn't trade the ups and downs for the world. Now I'm starting to wonder if the domino principle will begin in our house and which one of our boys will be next to move out.

Slainte' C.H. Admirand

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